You may have to if you’re entire focus is on their grades.
Today I spoke with a Mom of a high school senior. The mother is also a School Principal. The mother reached out to me because she was looking for an academic coach for her son. I explained that my focus is on developing what I call “global executive functioning”, not serving as an academic coach.
After explaining her son’s executive functioning challenges I suggested that helping her son build age-expected independence should take priority given that he’s a senior.
I explained how every year I see a new group of 18-19 year olds who went away to college and we’re home by November or finished out the semester with failing grades. In all of these cases the student went to college yet their parents have acted as their executive functioning their whole life. As a result, they are unable to function independently at college. They are what I call “prompt-dependent”. Their grades in high school and college acceptances were most likely a result of their parents acting as their executive functioning.
The mother explained to me that as an educator her priority was on helping her son academically. Unfortunately, I think she missed the bigger picture of what I explained. I find this happens often with parents who are focused solely on academic achievement.
I have a saying: “Getting into a good college doesn’t mean much if you cant’ stay there”.
Lets talk about how we can help you help your child move from being prompt-dependent towards independence so you won’t be moving into their dorm room with them.