ADHD is very common yet yet most people (including those in helping professions) have a very limited understanding of it.
Behaviors that are a result of lagging skills (social, executive functioning and emotional regulation) are often blamed on a kid or his parents:
“He just wants to be disrespectful”
“He doesn’t care about anyone but himself”
“The parents don’t discipline him”
ADHD is a condition that our society likes to judge as a character defect in a kid or the result of poor parenting.
Here’s the deal when it comes to ADHD:
-Talking about feelings doesn’t change lagging skills in ADHD which is why typical “talk therapy” is ineffective.
-If your son is diagnosed with ADHD (or related challenges) he needs to learn skills and strategies to help improve his lagging skills.
In the photo above I am working with an 11 year old middle schooler who started yelling at his mother in the supermarket because she wouldn’t buy him candy he wanted.
We talked about how his brain gets “stuck” and how he can learn to use his “Inner Coach” to help him when his brain stuck. Notice that no blame is assigned to his behavior? We talk about how ADHD effects his brain and how he can implement a strategy to help improve executive functioning and emotional regulation skills. I discussed with his parents how to use language when he gets stuck to help generalize this skill and how to not be responsive to his negative behavior when he’s stuck.
No to making him him feel bad about his behavior
No to talking about feelings week after week
Yes to simple strategies and language, designed for the male brain
Yes to educating parents to help them help their son become the best version of himself
Help your son be the best version of himself, don’t waste another school year hoping he’ll outgrow these issues or spend more time in ineffective talk therapy. Contact Ryan today to schedule an intake appointment.