Common requests I hear from parents

“Talk to him about being motivated to do homework.”
“Talk to him about being nicer to his sister.”
“Talk to him about yelling at us and then acting like it never happened.”

These are common requests I get from some parents of the kids I work with. What do these three statements have in common? They all imply that lecturing will change ADHD related challenges.

Here’s the reality – lecturing does not work, typical “talk therapy” does not work, giving incentives like “you do this all week and you can have extra Xbox time on the weekend” doesn’t work.

So what does actually work? Learning specific skills and strategies, designed for the ADHD brain.

Being motivated to do homework: You need to learn how to visualize how you will feel when you’ve completed the task and be able to have a clear image of what the end result should be.

Speaking in a nicer tone to people: you need to understand other thoughts and feelings about your verbal and nonverbal communication, how they treat you as a result and how you feel about how you’re being treated.

Being emotionally reactive and then acting like it never happened: Involves learning how to put problem size in a relevant context and learning how to make amends despite the fact you me feel ashamed of your behavior.

If you’re at the point of realizing that talking and lecturing hasn’t been helpful nor has typical counseling then it’s time for your son can learn skills and strategies design for how his brain works.

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