A series of true stories about what life looks like after high school for some kids with challenges:
#1 What inflexible thinking look like after high school.
A family of a high school senior reached out to me during the winter of this boy’s senior year. This boy did very well academically and had been accepted to every college to which he applied.
I learned that his mother acted as his executive functioning which is always a big “red flag” that an individual may be unsuccessful in college if his parents have acted as his executive functioning. But this wasn’t the biggest issue…
This boy had learned to avoid anything that wasn’t interesting to him (household chores, errands, etc).
When his parents asked him to do something he would make up excuses, the most common one was “I have homework to do”. The parents had bought this boy his own car which he never used it unless it was to get to school or to go to tennis center (his only interest). When asked to run a simple errand for his mother or father his response would be “I can’t I have homework to do”. “We thought he would mature out of this” his parents said during our first meeting.
At this point I had to have the uncomfortable conversation with these well-meaning parents that based on my previous experience I could not see how their son would be successful at college given his inflexibility and the fact that he hasn’t developed the resiliency to get through things that are not interesting to him.
Life is about dealing with the “boring moments” (as they’re called in Social Thinking® terminology. We have to learn how to tolerate boredom, to persevere through things that are not interesting, to get through things that are uncomfortable or anxiety producing. Without learning these skills, life becomes very challenging after high school ends.
If you have ADHD or related challenges you don’t just “outgrow” inflexibility.
Flexibility, resiliency, perseverance need to be learned.
Is inflexibility brewing in your son? This is much easier to deal with when kids are younger. Don’t wait until your son’s senior year to address his inflexibility, do something about it now. Reach out to schedule a free phone consultation: https://ridethewavecounseling.com/contact-us/