Are you a “social relater” or an “information informer”? One of the skills I often ask kids to identify is how well they think they do at engaging and sustaining reciprocal conversations with similar-age peers.
Kids with ADHD often have one-sided conversations where they talk at people about their interests, rattle off facts and can appear very socially engaging to adults. When the conversation changes to a topic that is not interesting to them they often disengage from the conversation or turn the conversation back to their topic of interest.
If you talk at same-age peers you’re most likely not showing an interest in them so why would they want to be your friend if you’re not showing an interest in them?
If you try to “one up” someone with your knowledge about a topic or argue with them to prove their wrong and you’re right what would be their motivation to be your friend?
If you can sit in a therapist’s office for an hour and talk at them about your topic of interest in an intelligent manner they’re most likely going to think you’re charming, engaging and have great social skills.
This photo is from my middle school How to Hang Out program. It’s very interesting to see boys between 11-14 who can clearly identify their own areas of need when it comes to improving their social thinking skills.
Is this something covered in typical therapy?
Is this something covered in typical social skills groups?
Of course not….that’s why I teach this